I really enjoyed your post and I 100% agree that we need onboarding paths for people who perfer to build community or others before building for themselves/
Part of the reason I never liked self-dog food (beyond the trigger dog/bitch has for many, and dog as an insult in Muslim traditions) was the focus on "I." Some folks approach open source differently with a "we" first approach.
We ran a session at IWC West called "cooking for others" if interested. Would love to connect and listen to your thoughts on the issue.